One more week until I get to study abroad! WOOOOOO!
This week has been very difficult. I was let go from my job on Tuesday. I haven’t had much motivation to work out (and I’m supposed to be on week 3 of marathon training). I’m very concerned about my finances and rent. And my student debt has hit six figures and is continuing to climb steadily. How lovely is that. I often laugh whenever something goes wrong and it just snowballs from there, almost like the universe is playing some cruel joke on me. I really despise summer, as it seems everything goes wrong in my life: relationships, finances, job stuff, academic stuff, etc. I’m hoping that my two-week adventure overseas provides some sort of relief from all of this recent craziness. When you get a blow to your life such as financial distress or being laid off, you begin to doubt everything and whether you’ll ever be adequate enough or have a sense of worth again. You can often wonder, “What is wrong with me? I have all this knowledge and talent but nobody wants to utilize it.” (I sound very negative, but I refuse to deny how I feel. Acknowledging your emotions is one of the steps to rising again.)
I have been applying to other jobs. However, after being an independent contractor for the last four years, it will be very interesting going back to what is regarded as a “normal” work environment. This lay off also comes at a wacky time as I’m leaving next week, so I’m kind of stuck in limbo unti l get back. I have been thinking about working for myself, but honestly, what exactly would I be good at and would be marketable to people? I love blogging, reeeeeally love photography (but I don’t have a lot of experience with the people picture-taking aspect; I’m better with nature), I have a ton of fun with social media networking and Instagram (goes back to the love of pictures),a nd I’m a huge weather/Disney nerd. I have been Instagramming and taking a lot of pictures this week, perhaps as a form of therapy to my internal misery. I feel very accomplished and full of solace when I get that right shot.
The quest shall continue. Perhaps I’ll find my purpose soon.